i want out
I have been married to a man for eight years. This is my third marriage. I do not want to be married any more, but I don't want to walk out "broke". I've been to a lawyer who said to snoop around and find out how much he is worth. What would you suggest?
from: I want out.
First of all, congratulations on becoming clear about what you want. Leaving any relationship is a painful process, and on top of that grief, having to figure out finances can be extremely stressful. Along with figuring out alimony and "what he is worth", it is also a good time to figure out your own financial worth and figure out some personal budgeting. Budget with what you have-- cut out any things you do not need. When and if you find yourself in a place where you have needs that cannot be met by your own earnings, seek out ways to find supplemental income, whether it be through part-time work, or relatives that can help support you until you feel more self-supportive.
It probably seems like you are risking a great loss, especially if you share a house, cars, kids together, all of which can be additionally painful and deserve entire books of advice to help work through. However, the final tone in your email suggests that this has been a long time in the coming. You are serious enough about it to be talking to lawyers, and you are ready for it. The process of divorce might take a long time; while this is going on, we suggest you seek emotional support from friends and family around you, and if you can find free or sliding scale counseling, that can help alleviate some of your emotional burdens that arise.
Good Luck,
S & P
